As The New Year Comes In

In the quietness of the night

I can almost hear the moments passing by

Marching into a new year

The clock moving forward with each second

Until all hands point up

Into the hour of midnight

And the new year begins

A new year of changes

New places, new people, new things

Another year of growing

Your sister turns five

Your brother turns two

Yet you will always remain sixteen

Forever locked into that age

Somehow I move forward

Along with the hands on the clock

Maybe a bit slower

Hesitation shadowing future outlook

Planning events and life without

Yet with the family at the same time

While facing the empty chair in all

A new year emerges

People celebrate and rejoice

Resolutions and expectations stated

Many to slowly fade with time

In the midst of it all

I slowly plod along, step by step

Taking it one moment at a time

Sixteen years of my life frozen

In time and in missing

In grief and heartbreak

Only memories of that life

To keep you living on

Within my heart and soul

As you will always be sixteen

EA Gay

Written in the final moments December 31, 2006

And the beginning seconds of January 1, 2007

Missing?

I once knew someone

Who smiled all the time

And every time I saw her

There was a twinkle in her eye

She smiled in good times

And smiled through the bad

Always with a caring word

Or a special hug to share

I have not seen her for awhile

And know not where she is

Sometimes I glimpse someone familiar

And I think I’ve found her again

Then I notice there is no sparkle

Nor the shine from within

I see her tired and weary eyes

And a smile that isn’t complete

Her shoulders carrying a burden

That no one else can see

She’s obviously not who I knew

But yet is someone that I know

I’m not sure what to say

Or how to act around her

And when I look into her eyes

She quickly glances away

As if she knows who is missing

And that she is not that someone

I always see her face nearby

Every place I go

Which makes me think I know her

Yet she is a stranger to me

Once again I try to look

Into her eyes to see

If there is a twinkle or a smile

Hidden deep within

Sometimes there is a glimmer

And I think it could be her

But there is something missing

No matter how often I look

For the person in the reflection

Is not who I used to be

EA Gay

October 19, 2007