Dear Parents & Guardians of Teens and Preteens,

I write this letter to you with a very heavy heart.  It has been over a year since my son, Wayne, died by suicide and I continue to see more and more warning signs of his intentions.  How little I knew before he died.   How easily I accepted his words and actions as typical teenage and even preteen behavior.  I was extremely frustrated and feeling ‘lost’ because of his changes in behavior and attitudes…but nowhere as lost as I am without him in my life.

Parents and Guardians MUST be educated about young depression and suicide prevention.  I was clueless.  I had no idea that past decisions in my life could affect Wayne so strongly.  I had no one tell me my own actions and decisions may influence him in such a negative manner.  I made decisions that I thought were for his good, but it seems those same decisions may have contributed to his state of mind and the final decision of his life. 

Do not rely on doctors and professionals to figure it all out.  Despite the years of communication with teachers, school counselors, friends, etc…I was not warned of the possibility of depression and suicide.  I even remember thinking about it and then saying ‘not my son’... as if it was a matter of pride and intelligence rather than mental health.   I did not understand that mental illness is a physical illness that must be treated.  I did not know the numerous levels of mental illness and the signs of its existence.  And even today,  I do not know that Wayne was definitely depressed, but I truly think he was…and it breaks my heart even more to know that treatment may have helped him.

PLEASE take your child’s actions seriously.  If there are any changes, seek guidance.  It is so easy to get caught up in work and the daily routines, that you just do not see the warning signs or not hear the depths of their words.  Listen! Listen! Listen!  and Watch! Watch! Watch!  Be active in your child’s life.   Be aware of your child’s life.  Be the one who just might make a difference in your child’s decisions about life and death!

With many blessing to you and your children!

Eden Ann Gay